So by now you’re knee deep in wedding plans. The venues been booked and you’ve got one eye on your wedding catering options and costs. Regular daydreaming of your honeymoon destination may have began and you are already getting nervous that your original budget is looking somewhat on the optimistic side. Now it’s time to decide the wedding guest list.
Amongst all this planning in the eye of the wedding storm, you must decide who will actually join on the big day. In other words, who are you going to invite on your wedding guest list?
Who are you going to add to your wedding guest list?
Now it’s time to get down to business.
This should be easy right? Make a budget, determine how many guests you can afford to come – or your venue can accommodate – send out the invites and bosh, you’re all done.
Not so fast there senor and senorita. If you’re both on the same page this can be easy, however there’s a good chance this can become an all mighty tug of war between you both. Your parents may get involved with their own invitees, your best pal wants to bring the girl he met on Tinder just last week, and your cousins ten hyperactive kids are waiting in line to chow down on the sweet table whilst costing the earth to feed.
Deep breaths now. Let’s go through this one step at a time. With our 5 handy guest list tips you’ll be through this in no time.
1 – What is your budget and venue capacity
First things first. Let’s cast our mind back to the budget and the venue. Ask yourself the following three questions:
- Are there any restrictions on numbers at the church or venue?
- What is your budget for catering, bearing in mind the other outgoings for the day?
- How many guests would you like to attend your day celebrations? (Make a rough list)
Next up, if you haven’t already done so – speak to your venue or caterers and get an estimate of your catering costs on a cost per head basis (this will become a familiar term in your wedding journey.)
If you’re opting for a traditional drinks reception and three course meal; with prices ranging from £30-£100 a head or more (this can vary immensely depending on what type of venue/catering you opt for), you can see how guest numbers can make a huge difference to costs.
Catering is up there as one of the most expensive items of the day (unless you are cunning and choose one of our cheaper alternative catering ideas) so numbers here will be important. You may be a popular couple and have hundreds of guests you would like to invite, but sadly you are likely to face limitations on your budget here.
One sage piece of advice to consider: is it better to have fewer better fed and watered guests to enjoy your day, or more guests that you will have to treat more sparingly. Many guests will likely opt for the former.
2 – Your wedding guest list – three events in one day
When it comes to your wedding day, bear in mind that the ceremony and reception are essentially two separate events. These will also be distinctly different from the third part of the day which are your evening celebrations.
The reception usually follows on straight from the ceremony. However if you are having a ceremony in a small church and your venue is larger; you invite your most important guests to the nuptials.
You can then invite your nearest and dearest, plus the other important guests to the reception (I.e. the more fun bit.) This will roll through the afternoon with drinks, your wedding meal (the wedding breakfast) and into your evening celebrations.
Your evening reception offers another opportunity to invite more guests for the party aspect of the day in. This is after all the formal parts of the day are complete, and everyone can let their hair down.
Your extra guests here may include work colleagues, plus ones you are less familiar with, and perhaps older or wider friends groups. There is less pressure here on capacity numbers and catering costs, however you may still wish to consider these guests in your evening catering numbers (but that’s up to you.) Bear in mind however, that having extra guests for the evening will of course depend on the location and accessibility of the venue.
Guests to the evening event are less likely to make a long journey for this aspect – as opposed to guests there for the whole day who will travel from far and wide to be part of the celebrations.
3 – Make a list – or multiple lists – of people to add to your wedding guest list
This is the time to break it down (and I’m not talking about break dancing, at least not yet anyway).
Sit down with your other half. Between you, write down three categories for your wedding guest list including the guest ‘must haves’, ‘like to haves’ and ‘could haves.’
The ‘must haves’ are your mandatory guests consisting of your nearest and closest friends and relatives. These are the ones you can’t imagine getting married without.
The second category is the ‘like to haves’ – these include your wider circle of good friends and the relatives outside of your immediate family (think cousins, uncles, aunties etc).
Finally there are the ‘could haves.’ These are the seat fillers that make up the rest of your available spaces. Ironically, these are probably the ones that will require a disproportionate amount of thought and may consist of friends from work, family friends of your parents, more obscure relatives etc.
These are the people you don’t see as often and quite frankly wouldn’t be too disappointed if they aren’t available to come to your day celebrations. For everyone else – providing you aren’t getting married abroad or too far away – there is the evening reception.
4 – Be ruthless when cutting down your wedding guest list
Having identified your initial lists using the exercise above, there’s a good chance you will have some awkward external pressures to consider.
Do you invite children of guests? Do you invite plus ones of your good friends that you don’t know very well? How many friends of your parents should you invite? (This may hinge on how much they are helping towards the costs of the day – big contribution, may equal more say over this.)
This will come down to how tight your numbers and budget are. If you have children yourselves, you may feel more inclined to invite your friends’ children or those of close relatives. Although children may be cheaper per head due to not requiring alcohol, this is still an easy way to add significant costs.
If you don’t have kids, it can be much easier to declare that the day will be a child free affair. Just make sure you give any parents plenty of notice to arrange childcare. Let’s be honest, kids often get bored at weddings and any parents in attendance are much more likely to let their hair down if they haven’t got their little beasties to look after!
Friends ‘plus ones’ can also present a challenge. You may opt for a rule that the closest friends/relatives get free reign on their plus ones. But for wider guests – if numbers are tight – partners would be invited to join the evening do instead.
These choices are entirely up to you and can be treated on a case by case basis. You may ruffle a few feathers, but remember to channel your inner doorman – its your day, and you’re the one footing the bill.
5 – Have a bit of fun
Still having trouble deciding? Then why not have a bit of fun with your wedding guest list.
Take the aforementioned groups of ‘must haves’, ‘like to haves’ and ‘could haves’ and put the names of the guests into a chart. Score each individual out of 5 on key categories including: relation/friend history, emotional connection, personal importance, fun factor, present buying potential and anything else you deem important.
Add up their scores and see how they compare. There’s a good chance your fiancé’s scores for guests may come out differently but this can be an eye opener that will let you see your guests in a new light. It may even help you choose who to add to the coveted wedding guest list!
Using the 5 wedding guest list tips above, you should then have a much clearer idea to draw up your coveted final list of attendees.
Get your invites out as early as possible to avoid any date clashes for your guests, and if you’re stuck for wedding gift ideas to add to the invites – read our handy wedding gift list guide here.
