Congratulations, you’ve been chosen to be the best man. Make no mistake, this is a major honour that sets you ahead of the rest as one of the most important members of the wedding day. You will be Robin to the grooms Batman, a shoulder to lean on in the build-up to the big day and a whole lot more.
Importantly; as the groom’s right-hand man, your delivery of best man duties for the wedding should aim to go above and beyond expectations. But never fear, with our ultimate best man duties checklist you will hit the ground running with all bases firmly covered.
But what are the best man duties?
Read on as we break down exactly what being a best man entails.
What does the best man do – your expected duties
As the best man, you will be expected to be a person to rely on in the build up to the big day.
Cool headed, pragmatic and someone with a helpful word to offer in the fraught and often stressful times that can lead up to a wedding.
Once you have been officially appointed to your role, one of your first major tasks will be to co-ordinate the stag do.
This will involve researching and identifying an appropriate location and activities that the groom will love. You will then need to co-ordinate family and friends old and new to attend.
A man of action, on the wedding day your best man duties will include helping to co-ordinate the groomsman, greeting guests and most importantly delivering an awesome and fitting best man speech to send your best friend into married life in (slightly bruised) style.
This role is not to be understated; you will be responsible for delivering possibly the most important speech of the three main speakers on the day.
Who is usually chosen as the best man at a wedding – finding your wingman
The best man is usually a close friend or male relative of the groom. This could be the groom’s best friend from school, university or college, long time best bud, dad, or brother.
The role comes with a lot of responsibility and demands that will require several key skills. The best man should be a good communicator, organiser, adviser, and man of the world. The perfect best man will embody all these traits and more.
If you are the groom, consider your choice wisely. As the main man, ensure your best man is a suitable match to deliver an epic stag do and speech that will truly do you justice.
Still not decided? See our full guide to choosing a great best man here.
Can there be two best men at a wedding?
This is the 21st century gentleman, which pretty much means you can do whatever you like! Of course, you can. Two best men are quite common at weddings, and sometimes even three get called to do the best man duties.
By employing two skill sets it will help to play to their individual strengths and split the workload through the organisation stages. Pulling together an unruly crowd of stags can cause fatigue in even the most energetic of organisers!
Then when it comes to the speeches, you have two friends to work together and deliver something special. Whether its one, two or three best men; our best man duties checklist will guide you through the important tasks to get the most out of the wedding day.
What does it mean to be the best man?
It means sir, you have been chosen as the cream of the crop to assist your best friend with one of the most memorable and significant days of their lives.
It’s a true honour to be asked, and something as a man you will be able to tick off your life bucket list.
Take the job seriously. Pay attention to the best man duties checklist and plan ahead to fulfil your duties with style.
Best man duties for the wedding day
Being the best man involves several duties and responsibilities.
It will be up to the bride and groom how they delegate duties in the build up and on the day. Most commonly you will be expected to organise an epic stag do, help with preparation duties such as collecting and returning suits etc, delivering a fantastic speech and looking after the rings as a minimum.
For a more thorough breakdown, see our list below:
The ultimate best man duties checklist
What are the best man duties? These are some of the best man tasks that may be required of you:
- Planning the stag do
- Write and deliver a fantastic best man’s speech
- Look after the wedding rings
- Help with the collection and return of the wedding suits
- Assist with greeting the wedding guests
- Organise the wedding cars
- Be the point of contact to co-ordinate the ushers/groomsman on the day
- Co-ordinate a gift to the groom from the best man and groomsman
- Spend the night before the wedding with the groom
- Help the groom to get ready on the wedding day
- Help to co-ordinate the guests for group photos
- Deliver key announcements such as the first dance and cutting of the cake (in the absence of a master of ceremonies or toastmaster)
- Sign the wedding registration as a witness (if required)
- Assist in the setup of the venue and collection/return of items
Key responsibilities – read on as we break down a few of the key responsibilities further:
Planning a stag do
This is often the jewel in the crown of the best man duties. Organising the stag do is one of the main responsibilities of the best man. You will need to chat to the groom to gather ideas of where and when they’d like to go, and what sort of activities he would like to do when you get there.
Some of this you will take upon yourself, but make sure you have a good idea of the grooms’ tastes in advance. Ask the groom for a list of people they would like to invite. Don’t assume on their behalf that the new father-in-law will be attending!
Gather contact details. Setup a group chat on Whatsapp (or something similar), outline plans or initial ideas for the stag do and identify potential dates that the majority can attend. Don’t forget to provide as much notice as possible here. The groom will thank you for being well organised and having as many of his good friends in attendance as possible.
Be aware of budgets and aim to hit the sweet spot of maximum attendance without skimping on a great location and entertaining activities. Once you have a firm plan in mind, you may then choose to delegate some of the planning to other members of the stag party.
Top tip: We would advise holding the stag do at least a month in advance of the wedding day to allow plenty of recovery time. If heading abroad, you may also choose to organise a smaller local occasion that other friends and family can attend who may not be able to make the main stag do.
A shoulder to lean on
There’s no two ways about it. Wedding planning can be an emotional and overwhelming time for even the coolest of customers.
In addition to seeing his bank account constantly drained, the groom is likely to be involved in making endless decisions regarding things he’d probably never heard of or given a second thought to before. From table plans to outfits, music selection, colour charts and more. Wedding planning can provide challenging moments and take its toll in the build up to the wedding day.
On top of this, he may have a more stressed than usual fiancé or even (pray for him) a bridezilla on his hands. This is where a best man really earns his stripes.
Check on the groom regularly in the run up to the day. Have a chat, go for a beer or play some sports together to take his mind off things.
He probably pictured a stress free build up to the day, before sauntering down the aisle with his gorgeous new bride. However, the reality of wedding planning can be quite different.
Offer your assistance and support where possible and help to create a sense of excitement for the day. This is (hopefully) a one off and you and the groom should both make sure you thoroughly enjoy the occasion.
As the wedding day closes in, your best man duties may also include helping to setup the venue, collection of the suits and being the point man for the ushers. You may want to treat him to a final night of freedom. However you may want to tone it down if it’s the day before the wedding. In our experience, the bride to be generally isn’t overly thrilled by a hungover groom!
For more tips to help the groom on his way, check out our 8 top tips for a stress-free wedding.
The best man speech
Congratulations, this is the big one. The best man speech is often the highlight of the three main speeches.
Following on from the father of the bride and the groom whose speeches will strike a slightly more serious tone, the best man speech is expected to be funny, entertaining and send the groom into marriage in style. No pressure!
This may fill you with dread if you aren’t a confident public speaker. Don’t forget to relax, speak slowly, clearly, and confidently. There should be a few jokes – at the groom’s expense of course. But don’t forget your audience and keep it appropriate. No controversy or explicit content is needed here.
Follow the tried and tested format of ice-breaker, introduction, main anecdotes and jokes, serious heartfelt points and a final toast. For a thorough breakdown see our essential guide to wedding speeches.
Remember; the best man speech is not something you should wing or leave until the last minute. Your best man’s speech should be carefully planned and practiced ahead of time. If there is more than one best man, you will need to co-ordinate your efforts carefully with your counterparts.
Good luck gentleman, a well delivered best man speech will cement your legendary status to the rest of the guests. For more tips read our guide to writing a great best man speech in 11 easy steps.
Best man duties conclusion
There you have it gentleman. Congratulations on your appointment as best man, this is an exciting challenge that you will never forget.
Follow this best man duties checklist and you will be well on the way to fulfilling your best man duties in style!
