speech Archives - The Wedding Man

10 simple steps to writing the perfect groom’s wedding speech

Well done for getting this far gentleman. You’ve got through the stresses of popping the question, followed by the ups and downs of wedding planning. Now there’s just one hurdle left before you can relax and dance the night away with your new bride or groom! The wedding speech by the groom is traditionally one of the three main speeches of a wedding day. Smash this and then you are home dry! The groom’s wedding speech is your chance to shine, thank your guests and those who have helped bring the day together. There should also be a significant focus on waxing lyrical about your new wife, why you love her and what drew you to her in the first place. The grooms wedding speech can leave many in a cold sweat; but with our top tips you’ll be sipping margheritas in the sun on your honeymoon in no time! What is the order of speeches at a wedding? Traditionally there are three main speeches at a wedding day. These are the father of the bride speech which comes first, followed closely by the wedding speech by the groom and then finishing with the best man speech. To summarise briefly: In addition to the three main speeches, you may choose to have additional speeches on your day which may include the bride, maid of honour and/or bridesmaids, and any other significant members of the wedding party. For a full breakdown read our essential guide to wedding speeches. Wedding speech by groom Relax gentleman. The groom’s wedding speech is one of the easier speeches to write as it is mostly one long thank you and the love story and appreciation of your new wife. This is the feel-good part of the day, and you will be surrounded by friends and family who will be rooting for you to succeed. The father of the bride will have got things going, and there isn’t the pressure of being funny and entertaining like the best man speech (which is often considered by many as being the main event). So put your public speaking nerves to one side and try and enjoy it. Any fumbles in your speech or choking back tears will only endear you to your friends and family more. Your speech should focus on thanking everyone who has made the day possible and contributed. This may include a brief presentation of gifts and thank yous to show your appreciation towards the main parties. These would normally include both sets of parents, the best man and groomsman and the maid of honour and bridesmaids. The next focus of the wedding speech by the groom should be to compliment and lavish praise on the new bride (or groom). The groom should tell them how much they mean to him and how lucky he is to be married. This should be followed by a final toast to the groom’s new wife or husband to complete the speech. How to write a groomsman speech Without further ado, follow these ten tips to write the perfect grooms wedding speech. 1 – Don’t be too formal Take a deep breath, relax, and start the speech quickly. Thank the father of the bride for his speech and acknowledge how special the occasion is. Thank everyone for attending and making the wedding the celebration that it is. A brilliant groom speech should be a balanced mix of entertainment and fun. Don’t be too serious or formal. Remember the main purpose of the speech is a heartfelt ode to your new life partner. Be light-hearted but romantic, complimentary but not cheesy. 2 – Add in a few jokes and icebreakers Aim to put the crowd at ease with a joke or funny story early on to break the ice. Emotions run high on a wedding day, and this can be balanced out with some entertaining anecdotes or stories about your relationship and the build up to the wedding. Make sure these are appropriate and inclusive so that you don’t embarrass your new partner. Keep these short, funny and to the point. 3 – Remember to thank everyone Traditionally the groom should remember to thank the following: Keep these short and to the point. If presenting gifts, move this along quickly so that your guests don’t lose interest. Keep this part of the speech concise with a sprinkle of humour so the thank yous don’t become a dry list of acknowledgements. Importantly, if the groom thanks his new partners parents, he should ensure he places the same emphasis on his own parents. There may be many more guests you should thank but summarise this part quickly and perhaps focus on more heartfelt individual thanks later in the day. 4 – Pay attention to your new wife or husband There’s no two ways about it. In the groom’s wedding speech, your new life partner should be the main focus. If the groom is anything like your average male specimen, he may be slightly emotionally stunted. In this case, the wedding speech by the groom will be a rare opportunity for him to really lay out how important his new wife (or husband) is to him and what makes them so special. This person has just agreed to spend the rest of their life with you, love you and accept all your faults. Warts and all. So, the least the groom can do is to drop in the love word, pay them some attention and appreciation highlighting what really makes them so special to you. Aim to make this part specific to your partner rather than cliché terms which could be generic to any partner. Reveal a bit of your love story to the audience and make them happy that they’ve made the correct choice in saying ‘I do’! 5 – How long should the groom’s speech be? The ideal wedding speech by the groom will be roughly around 1,500 words long and take between 7-10 minutes. Too short and you may rush

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The best man speech – 11 steps to effortlessly write a great best man’s speech in less than 24 hours

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Congratulations, you’ve been picked to be best man! But what does the best man actually do, how do you structure a best man speech and what should you include? Hold on tight gentleman and read our top tips on writing the ultimate best man’s speech to cement your legendary status to the other guests. Setting the scene So picture this. Your best mates wedding is closing in and you’ve been asked to be best man. You’ve already organised an epic stag do. Now the big day is approaching and it’s time to think about writing the best mans speech. Congratulations and good luck. The best man speech is often the highlight of the three main speeches (father of the bride, groom and then best man.) Whilst the others will feature a degree of comedy, they are largely devoted to the bride and history of the couple. The best man speech however needs to be funny, entertaining, and worthy of your best pal. All eyes will be on you to deliver a good one that is fitting of the groom to send him into married life in style. But don’t stress, with our top tips on how to write your best man speech you’ll breeze through it. Hold tight and get that pen and paper at the ready! 1. Write down initial ideas of what to say First up try and get some ideas down on paper of things that stand out about the groom and/or your relationship to each other. Are there any particular stories that stand out about the groom and are worthy of the best man speech? Consider how long you’ve known each other, the background to your relationship and whether there are any major (or funny) slip ups he’s made over the years. How has he changed since he met the bride (keep this positive with a mention of how he’s punching above his weight!). Draft some ideas that you think will be promising. This will act as a framework to tie your speech around. Think about how you will structure the best man speech working from your introduction (and ice breaker), through to the main anecdotes and stories, serious heartfelt points (if any!), toasts, and then finally how you will close the speech. Do a read through, check the timings and how it flows then tweak as you see fit. If you have a trustworthy partner or friend, take advantage, and use them as a sounding board for your ideas. They will be your reference to determine if they work well or are inappropriate. When planning your main content, don’t forget to consult other friends and relatives for great stories and anecdotes about the groom that you could include. 2. Consider the audience So you want to give the groom a good ribbing, but is that story about Amsterdam, the stag do or the festival and the nefarious activities you got up to fitting? Consider the bride and grooms parents and close family will be there. Bear in mind the whole audience for the best man speech and determine your stories and jokes appropriately. Think more PG-13 than X-rated. Don’t kill all the fun from your speech but judge the content wisely so the audience don’t become too uncomfortable. Remember to never reference previous girlfriends/relationships of the groom or over emphasise if he has had a lot of luck with the ladies previously (no bride wants to hear too much about his previous girlfriends.) But if he hasn’t go for it – in a nice way (and not too crude way of course)! Your best man speech hasn’t got to be a laugh a minute, and don’t let the groom off, but ride that knife edge wisely. The key to a good best man’s speech is to teeter close to the edge of acceptable mick taking without falling off it. Think a punch in the arm, rather than a karate kick to the face. You’ve got this! 3. Research If you are adept at writing speeches or speaking to a crowd, then you may be quite comfortable coming up with a suitable best man speech straight off the bat. On the other hand, if you’re struggling or need some inspiration, do your research online for some introductory best man jokes and structure for the best man speech. Be careful not to copy too much from what you find online however. We have attended weddings and heard the same icebreakers and jokes on 2 or 3 consecutive occasions. This is an easy way to undermine the integrity of your speech. Used sparingly, a few key one liners and jokes taken from the web can be useful as good icebreakers to work into the speech or to bookend the start and finish. These can be a handy addition to a funny and entertaining best man’s speech. 4. Speak to the room and make eye contact Don’t be the best man that has his eyes pinned down to a crumpled sheet of A4 for the whole speech mumbling his way through. This won’t do yourself or the groom justice. Unless you have experience in public speaking it will undoubtedly be nerve wracking (fingers crossed the wedding speeches are before the food so you can enjoy it!) Methods of reducing anxiety can be to familiarise yourself with the venue (this could be worth a timely visit beforehand.) Practise reading and performing it all the way through and be confident. Again, take advantage of your confidant here. Most importantly, remember to speak slowly and clearly. Leave pauses at the right times for laughter and enjoy your moment in the limelight. Once the best man speech is complete, you are home free! Check out these tips to improve your public speaking. 5. Practice makes perfect Following on from above, sometimes aspects of a speech or public performance will look great on paper but when read out loud don’t flow properly. Sentences might be too long. There might not be sufficient pauses, or your main points

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Your essential guide to wedding speeches – who does them and in what order

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Traditionally wedding speeches play a huge role in the wedding day. These are usually looked forward to with great anticipation by the guests, whilst potentially filling the designated speakers with dread! If you are starting to think about the wedding speeches and wondering who does wedding speeches and in what order we’re here to help. Wedding speeches in order There are traditionally three main speakers. The order of the key wedding speeches is as follows: Father of the bride Groom Best man In recent years, some couples have moved away from traditional formats, and there are no hard and fast rules as to who does wedding speeches. You may choose to take a more relaxed or unusual format. Additional speakers may also include the bride, bridesmaid/maid of honour or other important guests. It’s your day, so you can tweak the order of the wedding speeches and who does wedding speeches to reflect you as a couple. If you are one of the lucky guests giving a speech, planning ahead and knowing the do’s and don’ts of your wedding speech will make your life considerably less stressful in the run up to the big day. Who manages the wedding speeches on the day? To facilitate the speeches smoothly and efficiently and to avoid any messy gaps, there are a few options for your wedding day. You may wish to appoint a trusted and appropriate guest to manage the introduction and announcement of the wedding speeches. Ensure that the appointee is confident in public speaking or has had experience in such a role previously. This will help smooth the transition between speeches considerably. Alternatively, depending on your venue, there may be a representative who manages this for you. You may also consider employing a master of ceremonies (MC) for the day. An MC will ensure timings run smoothly and run to plan throughout your day. They will also offer some flair to proceedings. Finally, ensure all speech makers know the order and are familiar with the plan beforehand. This will help to avoid any untimely toilet breaks and awkward handovers! Who does the wedding speeches and what should they include? Father of the bride The father of the bride would traditionally give the first speech as in days gone by, they would usually be the ones to host the wedding. Wedding speeches in order: First Key points: Welcomes the guests and thanks them for attending Welcome the groom to the family with warmth, recalling first impressions and early relationship nerves Mention the key people in the brides life, giving a voice to those who wont be speaking Tell stories from the brides childhood and growing up i.e. ambitions, driving lessons, memorable moments Toast to absent friends Remember: Keep it entertaining and formal Don’t make it a dry list of thank yous and don’t go overboard on praise for your daughter Don’t make it too long (there’s at least two more speeches to go!). 6-8 minutes is fine. The Groom The main man himself. A good start to the groom speech is to thank the father of the bride for his speech and the bride’s family for welcoming you. Don’t forget to compliment your new bride on how beautiful she looks. Wedding speeches in order: Second Key points: Thank the guests for attending and for their gifts Thank you and presentation of gifts to key members of the wedding party including the parents of the bride and groom, best men and groomsman, maid of honour and bridesmaids Thank both sets of parents and toast the brides parents if they are hosting Recall your story – how you met, what were your first impressions, what was the first date like, what you fell in love with (keep it to the point and don’t waffle) Sprinkle the speech with humour and don’t make it too sentimental Finish with how lucky you are and how much you love your new wife before a final toast (and perhaps add in not to trust a word the best man says about you!) Remember: Don’t forget the toasts and thank yous Don’t go overboard with the superlatives amazing, beautiful, fantastic. Remember less is more to give the compliments greater impact Best Man This is the big one and finishes off the three main speeches. There is a lot of pressure for the best man to be funny and entertaining, so don’t forget to add in some great best man jokes. Wedding speeches in order: Third Key points: Follow the grooms toast by thanking the bridesmaids and complimenting the bride Compliment the couple Tell anecdotes and stories about the groom. Don’t let the groom off lightly, but also bear in mind the audience i.e. humiliation without being X-rated Keep it simple and don’t try too hard. Use the tried and tested format: ice-breaker, introduction, main stories and laughs, serious heartfelt points and final toast Get your timings right – not too short (under 5 minutes) so it feels you haven’t done the groom justice and not too long (over 10 minutes) so guests start to lose attention. Between 6-10 minutes is fine. Checkout our guide to writing a best man speech here. Remember: We’ll say it again – remember your audience. Think how the groom’s gran would receive the jokes. If it’s likely to be stony silence, tone them down a bit. Don’t let one period of the grooms life (i.e. adolescence or university) dominate the whole speech. Also don’t go overboard on ‘in jokes’ that no one else will understand. Don’t mention the ex. Previous girlfriends are a big no no. By all means roast the groom on his lack of success with the ladies, but don’t mention it if he’s had considerable luck. The bride WILL NOT appreciate this. Don’t be too harsh. Mild humiliation and lots of laughs – yes. Hang your head in shame humiliation – no. He is your best friend after all. Find out what other best man duties to expect and how

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