Well done for getting this far gentleman. You’ve got through the stresses of popping the question, followed by the ups and downs of wedding planning. Now there’s just one hurdle left before you can relax and dance the night away with your new bride or groom! The wedding speech by the groom is traditionally one of the three main speeches of a wedding day. Smash this and then you are home dry!
The groom’s wedding speech is your chance to shine, thank your guests and those who have helped bring the day together. There should also be a significant focus on waxing lyrical about your new wife, why you love her and what drew you to her in the first place.
The grooms wedding speech can leave many in a cold sweat; but with our top tips you’ll be sipping margheritas in the sun on your honeymoon in no time!
What is the order of speeches at a wedding?
Traditionally there are three main speeches at a wedding day. These are the father of the bride speech which comes first, followed closely by the wedding speech by the groom and then finishing with the best man speech.
To summarise briefly:
- The father of the bride speech thanks guest for attending, welcomes the groom to the family and recounts stories of the bride’s childhood and growing up.
- The groom speech thanks the guests for attending, the father of the bride for his speech and both sets of parents. Recounts the story of how you both met, and how lucky you are – finishing with a toast.
- The best man speech thanks the bridesmaids and compliments the bride. Tell anecdotes about the groom and your past together, finished with a toast.
In addition to the three main speeches, you may choose to have additional speeches on your day which may include the bride, maid of honour and/or bridesmaids, and any other significant members of the wedding party.
For a full breakdown read our essential guide to wedding speeches.
Wedding speech by groom
Relax gentleman. The groom’s wedding speech is one of the easier speeches to write as it is mostly one long thank you and the love story and appreciation of your new wife.
This is the feel-good part of the day, and you will be surrounded by friends and family who will be rooting for you to succeed. The father of the bride will have got things going, and there isn’t the pressure of being funny and entertaining like the best man speech (which is often considered by many as being the main event).
So put your public speaking nerves to one side and try and enjoy it. Any fumbles in your speech or choking back tears will only endear you to your friends and family more.
Your speech should focus on thanking everyone who has made the day possible and contributed. This may include a brief presentation of gifts and thank yous to show your appreciation towards the main parties. These would normally include both sets of parents, the best man and groomsman and the maid of honour and bridesmaids.
The next focus of the wedding speech by the groom should be to compliment and lavish praise on the new bride (or groom). The groom should tell them how much they mean to him and how lucky he is to be married. This should be followed by a final toast to the groom’s new wife or husband to complete the speech.
How to write a groomsman speech
Without further ado, follow these ten tips to write the perfect grooms wedding speech.
1 – Don’t be too formal
Take a deep breath, relax, and start the speech quickly. Thank the father of the bride for his speech and acknowledge how special the occasion is. Thank everyone for attending and making the wedding the celebration that it is.
A brilliant groom speech should be a balanced mix of entertainment and fun. Don’t be too serious or formal. Remember the main purpose of the speech is a heartfelt ode to your new life partner. Be light-hearted but romantic, complimentary but not cheesy.
2 – Add in a few jokes and icebreakers
Aim to put the crowd at ease with a joke or funny story early on to break the ice. Emotions run high on a wedding day, and this can be balanced out with some entertaining anecdotes or stories about your relationship and the build up to the wedding.
Make sure these are appropriate and inclusive so that you don’t embarrass your new partner. Keep these short, funny and to the point.
3 – Remember to thank everyone
Traditionally the groom should remember to thank the following:
- All the guests for attending
- The bride’s parents
- The groom’s parents
- The best man and groomsman/ushers
- The maid of honour and bridesmaids
Keep these short and to the point. If presenting gifts, move this along quickly so that your guests don’t lose interest. Keep this part of the speech concise with a sprinkle of humour so the thank yous don’t become a dry list of acknowledgements.
Importantly, if the groom thanks his new partners parents, he should ensure he places the same emphasis on his own parents.
There may be many more guests you should thank but summarise this part quickly and perhaps focus on more heartfelt individual thanks later in the day.
4 – Pay attention to your new wife or husband
There’s no two ways about it. In the groom’s wedding speech, your new life partner should be the main focus.
If the groom is anything like your average male specimen, he may be slightly emotionally stunted. In this case, the wedding speech by the groom will be a rare opportunity for him to really lay out how important his new wife (or husband) is to him and what makes them so special.
This person has just agreed to spend the rest of their life with you, love you and accept all your faults. Warts and all. So, the least the groom can do is to drop in the love word, pay them some attention and appreciation highlighting what really makes them so special to you. Try to make this part specific to your partner rather than cliché terms which could be generic to any partner.
Reveal a bit of your love story to the audience and make them happy that they’ve made the correct choice in saying ‘I do’!
5 – How long should the groom’s speech be?
The ideal wedding speech by the groom will be roughly around 1,500 words long and take between 7-10 minutes. Too short and you may rush it and not cover all the essential points and too long; your guests will start to drift off.
Aim to start, finish, and have all the toasts and gift giving done in 10 minutes and you’ll be on to a winner. Get the job done calmly and succinctly, then sit back and wait for the onslaught of the best man speech.
Top tip: Traditionally, speeches are given after the wedding breakfast or reception dinner. However, the pre-speech nerves can often affect the enjoyment of the meal for all speech givers. Consider doing your speeches before the food so you can really sit back and enjoy the lavish meal you’ve paid for.
6 – Don’t ramble on or go into too much detail
Following on from the previous point, you should keep your speech focused without rambling on. When recalling a story or anecdote, provide the background and essential details, but think bullet points rather than chapters.
Draft your speech out, read through and check how it is measuring up according to the word count and timings stated above. Much longer and you should look to strip out and abbreviate some of your content.
Seven – Find a fitting and suitable quote
Not a natural poet or philosopher? Then let someone more apt summarise your feelings for you. There are a wealth of brilliant quotes that you can use to add emphasis to a great grooms speech.
Add one or two fitting quotes to add a touch of class, but don’t try to take the credit and ensure you acknowledge the author!
8 – Give out gifts (or not)
This one is up to you. Some wedding professionals advise against giving out gifts during the speech to avoid it turning into a prize giving ceremony.
On the other hand, we think as long as you move the gift section along swiftly – and have the gifts to hand – this adds a nice touch to follow on from the thank yous.
Publicly acknowledging those who have helped with a gift will be appreciated by those who have put extra effort in towards helping create your day. Read our post here for some great best man and groomsman gift suggestions.
9 – Focus on the structure and avoid repetition
Plan your structure beforehand, ensure you’ve covered all the key points and then practice it. Read it aloud and ideally record yourself delivering the speech to ensure the timings work well and that it flows properly.
Focus on speaking slowly and clearly and ensure that any repetition in the speech is kept to a minimum. You don’t want to repeat yourself by jumping around to the same thank yous and compliments on the big day.
Tweak and edit your speech and then practice it again until you know it well. With prompts you should be able to deliver it smoothly whilst also maintaining eye contact with the audience. No-one wants to see you with your face down, reading your speech word for word from a sheet of paper.
10 – Plan the ending of the speech
As important in a speech as a night out, you should plan your exit strategy beforehand.
Once you’ve summarised your key points, thank yous and revered thoughts to your new wife, aim to end with a toast to your new partner. A few words to introduce the best man here also won’t go amiss, and of course any reference to his lack of trustworthiness as this point will be well targeted before all of the dubious truths, he is about to spill about you.
Remember to breathe slowly and deeply to calm the nerves and leave the Dutch courage behind prior to the speech. One or two might not hurt but you don’t want to be slurring your words on the big day.
Practise beforehand (with a trusted ally to help with feedback) and smile. Everyone wants to see you succeed and enjoy your speech, this is your day after all!
