Pre Wedding

“Marriage is not kick-boxing, it’s salsadancing.” ― Amit Kalantri Ah the proposal. For the uninitiated, you may be wondering how to propose and what the best way to propose is? Well, clench your buttocks gentleman and take a deep breath as this is one of the most nerve-wracking moments of your long and winding wedding journey.  But never fear – provided you don’t trip and fall onto one knee with a ring unexpectedly in your hand, you can take the surprise out of it (from your side at least) with the help of a bit of pre planning. Our top tips on how and when to propose will guide you through the sticky first chapter of getting married. Before we get into the nitty gritty, I’m writing this based on a few assumptions that would serve you well to adhere to, which are: You love your bride to be She loves you You’ve been dating/going out considerably more than 1 week – 6 months plus You are already fairly certain of the answer and/or you’ve taken so long to pop the question that the answer is a foregone conclusion You are not your bride to be’s stalker All agreed? Good. First of all, where should you do it?  Bear in mind that this story will be recalled to all and sundry through the millenia – particularly if it is either a good or a bad one.  And we all know which is going to be preferred by your – hopefully – wife to be.  “Yeah Dave proposed on Saturday night during the X Factor break, couldn’t really say no though could I!?” Yeah good one Dave, you’re areal hero. A little effort here goes a long way.  We’re not saying you have to whisk your beau to be off to Paris for a romantic weekend for the occasion (but if as the author did, you were going there anyway, it seems like a shame to waste the opportunity if you’re thinking along those lines!) As far as proposals go, there are cliché ones (but not necessarily bad), romantic ones, surprise ones, mediocre ones and frankly, a bit crap ones.  These may blend with the type of person you are.  You want to be true to yourself in doing so, but we’ve heard of some particularly average efforts and who wants to be the guy that drops to one knee on a drizzly Saturday night at home and spits out, shall we do it then…? It’s good to have some sense of occasion to erm, mark the occasion. Formalities – asking her father for her hand in marriage This one is up to you. The age-old tradition to ask your bride to be’s father for her hand in marriage is a great way to start off on the right foot.  This will depend how close you/she is to her dad, and if he is the type of chap that would like or expect this.  Also, is this something you think she would appreciate? (If you think he’ll say no but are determined to propose anyway, you may want to skip this part altogether!) If so, time your moment right – perhaps over a drink or two– when you are both in good spirits and you have a chance to have a quiet chat with minimal interruptions.  Broach the subject carefully but confidently, say there’s something you’ve been meaning to ask him and off you go.   The main point here is to outline you have his daughter’s best interests at heart, that you will be there to support her and help achieve her hopes and aspirations to become the best she can be, and enforce that you are not a fly by night character. Get Dad on side and you’re off to a great start – don’t forget this may pay dividends when it comes to helping to pay for the big day later on. When should you propose? This is the big moment, so its important you get the timing right.  This is going to be up to you to feel out, but it is important that you propose when you are both in a calm and happy state when you feel ready and not rushed. Considerations for this could include: Is there a particular date or anniversary that is special to you both?  This could be the anniversary of when you both first met, a birthday or maybe if she’s a girl that loves Christmas find your moment then.  Ideally before the drunken, comatose aftermath of an enormous Christmas dinner! Are you planning any special trips anywhere soon?  This could be the perfect time if you have the idea of proposing in mind first.  Great landmarks may be cliché (i.e. the top of the Eiffel Tower), but who cares?  This is your moment so go for it.  This may be extra special if there is something in particular she wants to go and see or do.  Helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon? Check.  A restaurant overlooking the sea after a great meal. Yes! Just make sure you leave yourself enough time to get the ring beforehand.  Is there somewhere she’s always wanted to go or do? Such as a hot air balloon ride, climb a mountain or go to a particular landmark or country?  This could be a great opportunity when deciding how to propose if she is already on a high from achieving an ambition or ticking something off the bucket list.  Hell, top it off with a good proposal and its all gravy.  Whenever you choose, try to find a time when you can both be alone afterwards to reflect and enjoy the moment together.  If you are away somewhere there may also be lots of phone calls to make so you may want a charged and in signal mobile ready to go! Where should you propose? This is probably the big one that will be remembered and will help to mark the occasion, so its worth putting a bit of