April 2022

Traditionally wedding speeches play a huge role in the wedding day. These are usually looked forward to with great anticipation by the guests, whilst potentially filling the designated speakers with dread! If you are starting to think about the wedding speeches and wondering who does wedding speeches and in what order we’re here to help. Wedding speeches in order There are traditionally three main speakers. The order of the key wedding speeches is as follows: Father of the bride Groom Best man In recent years, some couples have moved away from traditional formats, and there are no hard and fast rules as to who does wedding speeches. You may choose to take a more relaxed or unusual format. Additional speakers may also include the bride, bridesmaid/maid of honour or other important guests. It’s your day, so you can tweak the order of the wedding speeches and who does wedding speeches to reflect you as a couple. If you are one of the lucky guests giving a speech, planning ahead and knowing the do’s and don’ts of your wedding speech will make your life considerably less stressful in the run up to the big day. Who manages the wedding speeches on the day? To facilitate the speeches smoothly and efficiently and to avoid any messy gaps, there are a few options for your wedding day.  You may wish to appoint a trusted and appropriate guest to manage the introduction and announcement of the wedding speeches.  Ensure that the appointee is confident in public speaking or has had experience in such a role previously. This will help smooth the transition between speeches considerably.  Alternatively, depending on your venue, there may be a representative who manages this for you. You may also consider employing a master of ceremonies (MC) for the day. An MC will ensure timings run smoothly and run to plan throughout your day. They will also offer some flair to proceedings. Finally, ensure all speech makers know the order and are familiar with the plan beforehand. This will help to avoid any untimely toilet breaks and awkward handovers! Who does the wedding speeches and what should they include? Father of the bride The father of the bride would traditionally give the first speech as in days gone by, they would usually be the ones to host the wedding. Wedding speeches in order: First Key points: Welcomes the guests and thanks them for attending Welcome the groom to the family with warmth, recalling first impressions and early relationship nerves Mention the key people in the brides life, giving a voice to those who wont be speaking Tell stories from the brides childhood and growing up i.e. ambitions, driving lessons, memorable moments Toast to absent friends Remember: Keep it entertaining and formal Don’t make it a dry list of thank yous and don’t go overboard on praise for your daughter Don’t make it too long (there’s at least two more speeches to go!). 6-8 minutes is fine. The Groom The main man himself.  A good start to the groom speech is to thank the father of the bride for his speech and the bride’s family for welcoming you. Don’t forget to compliment your new bride on how beautiful she looks. Wedding speeches in order: Second Key points: Thank the guests for attending and for their gifts Thank you and presentation of gifts to key members of the wedding party including the parents of the bride and groom, best men and groomsman, maid of honour and bridesmaids Thank both sets of parents and toast the brides parents if they are hosting Recall your story – how you met, what were your first impressions, what was the first date like, what you fell in love with (keep it to the point and don’t waffle) Sprinkle the speech with humour and don’t make it too sentimental Finish with how lucky you are and how much you love your new wife before a final toast (and perhaps add in not to trust a word the best man says about you!) Remember: Don’t forget the toasts and thank yous Don’t go overboard with the superlatives amazing, beautiful, fantastic. Remember less is more to give the compliments greater impact Best Man This is the big one and finishes off the three main speeches. There is a lot of pressure for the best man to be funny and entertaining, so don’t forget to add in some great best man jokes. Wedding speeches in order: Third Key points: Follow the grooms toast by thanking the bridesmaids and complimenting the bride Compliment the couple Tell anecdotes and stories about the groom. Don’t let the groom off lightly, but also bear in mind the audience i.e. humiliation without being X-rated Keep it simple and don’t try too hard. Use the tried and tested format: ice-breaker, introduction, main stories and laughs, serious heartfelt points and final toast Get your timings right – not too short (under 5 minutes) so it feels you haven’t done the groom justice and not too long (over 10 minutes) so guests start to lose attention.  Between 6-10 minutes is fine. Checkout our guide to writing a best man speech here. Remember: We’ll say it again – remember your audience. Think how the groom’s gran would receive the jokes. If it’s likely to be stony silence, tone them down a bit. Don’t let one period of the grooms life (i.e. adolescence or university) dominate the whole speech. Also don’t go overboard on ‘in jokes’ that no one else will understand. Don’t mention the ex. Previous girlfriends are a big no no. By all means roast the groom on his lack of success with the ladies, but don’t mention it if he’s had considerable luck. The bride WILL NOT appreciate this. Don’t be too harsh. Mild humiliation and lots of laughs – yes.  Hang your head in shame humiliation – no. He is your best friend after all. Find out what other best man duties to expect and how